Al & Death: The Complete Adventures
by W.H. Woolhat
Summary: Death gets sucked through a vortex in the time-space continuum and ends up in the car of a college-aged girl who isn't particularly surprised to see him.
1. Transcending Dimensions After School

**Transcending Dimensions After School and Other Stories**

_Author's Note_: This just kinda happened. It was a weird idea that spawned an even weirder conversation with my best friend, and this is what came of it.

**Setting**: _Death's domain, day (or as close as it gets there). _Death _is outside, about to mount Binky. _Albert _comes out of the house._

**Albert**: You're just out on a job, right? (_It is obvious from his expression that he's afraid that _Death _is going to get involved in someone's life again._)

**Death**: I AM ALWAYS OUT ON A JOB, ALBERT. EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY, SOMEONE DIES.

**Albert**: Fine. Right. I was just checkin'.

**Death**: YES, I SUPPOSE SO.

(Albert _goes back in the house._ Death _mounts _Binky, _and _Binky _springs upward into the sky._

**Cut to**: _Exterior, a common community college in our world, late day. A girl – _Al –_ is walking across a full parking lot towards a small car. She is of average height and is wearing a black hoodie with Jack from The Nightmare Before Christmas on the front and large pants with many pockets, straps, and chains. Her hair is light brown and chin length, black underneath with red, blonde, and black streaks throughout. She unlocks the door and climbs into the car._)

**Al**: Whew, what a day. (_She flips on the stereo and some vague rock music comes from the car speakers_.) Time to go crash with a Mt. Dew! (_She starts the car._)

(**Cut to**: _Shot of _Death_ and _Binky _traveling, set against a multi-colored swirly background. Both seem rather unconcerned._

**Cut to**: _Parking lot. _Al's _engine cuts out_.)

**Al**: Damn, not again. (_She re-starts the car. It protests for a moment._) Come on, you piece of...

(**Cut to**: Death _and _Binky. _Swirly background becomes a bit more so. A vortex forms at the center of the background. _Binky _neighs in alarm_.)

**Death**: OH, BUGGER. (_The vortex spins around very fast and _Death _gets sucked into it with a pop_.)

(**Cut to**: _Parking lot. The engine of _Al's _car suddenly revs satisfyingly and _Al_ nods._)

**Al**: Good. Now I can go home and – (_She breaks off and stares at the passenger seat with a mixture of surprise and confusion_.) Okay, what the hell?

**Death**: OH _BUGGER_. (_He is hunched up rather uncomfortably in the passenger seat, as he is 7ft. tall and _Al _has a compact car._)

**Al**: Hmm, I have a seven-foot skeleton in my car. (_pause_) Cool!

**Death**: I FEEL RATHER EMBARRASSED ASKING THIS, BUT...WHERE AM I?

**Al**: I just said: you're in my car.

**Death** (_obviously feeling very confused and disoriented_): WHAT EXACTLY IS A "CAR"?

**Al**: This is. Now, what exactly are _you_?

**Death** (_affronted_): I AM DEATH.

**Al** (_after a moment_): Can't say I'm surprised.

**Death**: YOU'RE NOT?

**Al**: I think it was the totally skeletal look that tipped me off. Oh, and the black cowl. And that stupid grin you've been flashing at me for the past five minutes.

(Death _is pretty much speechless; it's obvious that he can't fathom why _Al_ is reacting the way she is. Another moment passes in silence_.)

**Al**: So, I know there isn't a big skeleton out to grab my soul when I die, and I'm not dead anyway, so why are you here?

**Death**: I'M NOT SURE. BUT I SHOULD BE GETTING BACK.

**Al**: Back where? (_She throws the car into reverse and starts to back out of her parking spot_.)

**Death**: THE DISC...(_pauses_) YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS, DO YOU?

**Al** (_while looking out the rear window_): Doesn't ring a bell. (_A car speeds past_.) Bastard!

(_After a few more tries, she manages to back out and get out of the parking lot more or less without incident._ Death_, oddly enough, is beginning to look nervous_.)

**Death**: WHERE ARE WE GOING?

**Al**: Well, I'm going home. I thought you said that you had to get back to this Disc place.

**Death**: AH, WELL, YOU SEE, THAT IS A BIT OF A PROBLEM.

**Al**: Why?

**Death**: I DON'T KNOW HOW. I HAVE A FEELING THAT IT IS IN A DIFFERENT DIMENSION THAN THIS WORLD.

**Al **(_shrugs_): Well then you'll just have to come to my house. My car doesn't do anything trans-dimensional.

**Death**: IF ONLY I KNEW WHERE BINKY WAS.

**Al** (_raising an eyebrow_): Binky?

**Death**: MY HORSE.

**Al**: I have absolutely _no_ comment on that.

**Death**: HE HAPPENS TO BE A VERY GOOD HORSE.

**Al**: Hey, didn't I say I had no comment?

(Death _is about to reply when a scrabbling noise is heard from the glove compartment. Both _Al _and _Death _look at it quizzically, and, as they're stopped at a red light, _Al_ leans over and opens it. The _Death of Rats _climbs out, looking rumpled and generally unhappy_.)

**Death of Rats**: SQUEAK.

**Al**: You didn't tell me there were more of you.

**DoR**: SQUEAK!

**Death**: HE'S SAYS HE'S NOT ONE OF ME, HE'S ONE OF HIM.

**Al**: Whatever. The fact is that I now have a skeletal rat in my car, as well. Add this Binky you mentioned, and it sounds like we'd have the whole gang.

(_A pop similar to the one that sent _Death _through the vortex sounds. _Binky _appears, basically stuck through the middle of the back seat of the car but unharmed due to his trans-dimensional abilities._)

**Al**: I _had _to say something.

(Binky _neighs noncommittally_.)

**Al**: Thank the seven kinds of fuzzy slippers that this is my house. My nickname is _Crash_! I have a hard enough time driving as it is; I can't go around with a horse sticking out of my car. (_She parks the car at the curb._)

**Death**: YOUR NICKNAME IS _WHAT_?

**DoR**: SQUEAK.

**Death**: YES, I HEARD HER.

(Al _gets out of the car, slams the door, and walks towards the house. She pauses and turns around before she's halfway up the walk_.)

**Al**: Well, are you coming or not?

**Death**: WELL, I HAVE MY HORSE, SO I WAS GOING TO GO BACK...

**DoR** (_sounding wary_): SQUEAK, EEK!

**Death** (_sighs_): YOU'RE RIGHT. (_to _Al) WE'RE COMING.

(Al _turns back around and continues up the walk_. Death_ follows with the _Death of Rats _riding on his shoulder. After a moment, _Binky _disentangles himself from the car and all three walk through the front wall and into _Al's _living room._)

**Al **(_from down the hall_): I know it's a mess, but most of it isn't my crap, so just push it into the corners or something.

(Death _looks around before sitting down tentatively on the couch, which is miraculously free of clutter. The _Death of Rats _hops off his shoulder and scuttles around, looking at things and squeaking. _Binky _is calmly walking through the room as if nothing but the floor exists._ Al _comes in from the other room, carrying a two-liter bottle of Mt. Dew and two glasses_.)

**Al**: Okay, the horse is a little much, but I'll live with it. (_She sits down on the couch, turns the TV on, and pours herself a glass of soda; to _Death) Want some?

**Death**: ER, ALL RIGHT. (Al _fills the other glass and hands it to him_. _He gestures towards the TV as he takes a sip._) WHAT IS THIS TALKING BOX FOR?

**Al**: Entertainment. (_Sees _Death's _blank look_) It's a television. You watch it.

**Death **(_the caffeine and sugar are starting to kick in, as he's never had a large amount of either_): WHAT ARE WE WATCHING?

**Al**: Duck Dodgers marathon.

**DoR** (_jumps up on _Death's _lap_): SQUEAK!

(Death _lowers his glass and lets the _Death of Rats _have some Mt. Dew._

**Cut to**: _About three hours later, same place. _Al _is watching the TV and looking basically normal. The _Death of Rats _is sitting on the coffee table, sniggering and waving his scythe at the TV at regular intervals. _Death _is staring vaguely at the TV screen and is extremely buzzed on sugar and caffeine. Needless to say, he is also laughing far more than is necessary. _Binky _is trotting around, oblivious to it all._)

Death: SO HE'S A DUCK IN SPACE. (_laughs_) AND HE FIGHTS THE SMALL BLACK ONE? 

**Al**: You've got it now, Bone Boy.

**DoR**: SNH, SNH, SNH.

(_The front door opens and _Al's Dad _enters. He takes one look at the scene, shakes his head, and heads for the kitchen._)

**Al's Dad** (_as he passes the couch_): How many times have I told you that you can't have trans-dimensional horses over after school?

(Al _looks after him, then starts to laugh hysterically. Fade out._)


	2. Al Meets Albert

**Al Meets Albert**

**Setting**: Al_'s house – the morning after "Transcending Dimensions After School". _Al _emerges from her bedroom, yawning and smoothing her hair down. She heads for the living room and stops in her tracks._

_We soon see why. _Death _is sprawled on her couch in a state as close to sleep as he ever gets. Obviously, all the caffeine has gotten to him. The _Death of Rats _is curled up among the junk on the coffee table, in a similar state. _Al _is soon fully awake and she rushes to the window as something seems to occur to her._

_Out on the small front lawn, _Binky _is happily grazing. _Al _groans loudly. _Death _stirs_.

**Death**: AARGH, MY _SKULL_.

**Al**: So you're up, then. Why the _hell_ are you still here? I thought you had a scythe to wield? Souls to usher? Something that didn't involve sleeping on my couch?

**Death**: SLEEP? YES, I SUPPOSE I WENT TO SLEEP.

**Al**: Right, you did. Now you're leaving.

**Death**: Where's Binky?

**Al**: Outside.

**Death**: ALL RIGHT. I MAY NOT UNDERSTAND HUMANS, BUT I _CAN _TAKE A HINT. YOU WANT ME TO LEAVE.

**Al**: Hell yes! Sooner or later, my dad's going to notice there's more than a horse around here!

**Death**: I'M GOING, I'M GOING. (_He gets up slowly, then scoops up the _Death of Rats.)

**Death of Rats** (_feebly_): SQUEAK...

(Death _heads out the door. _Al _stands in the doorway, watching as _Death _mounts _Binky _and prepares to take off back to his own dimension. _Binky _neighs but stays put_.)

**Death**: HMM... (_leans down_) HOME, BINKY.

(Binky _still stays put_.)

**DoR**: SQUEAK! SQUEAK, EEK!

(Binky _remains firmly in one place_.)

**Al**: Oh for the love of...what's wrong _now_?

**Death**: BINKY APPEARS TO BE...STUCK.

**Al** (_glares at _Death): Stuck?

**Death**: STUCK IN THIS DIMENSION.

**Al** (_obviously upset by this_): _What_? How?

**Death **(_hesitantly_): I THINK IT MAY HAVE SOMETHING TO DO WITH YOUR CAR.

**Al** (_deadpan_): My car.

**Death**: YES. IF I'M UNDERSTANDING THIS RIGHT, SOMETHING WENT WRONG BETWEEN THE DIMENSIONS, AND YOUR CAR WAS THE CAUSE.

**Al**: I told you, my car doesn't do anything trans-dimensional.

**Death**: NOT THAT YOU KNOW OF.

**Al** (_sighs_): Fine. What do I have to do?

(**Cut to**: _Out front of _Al_'s house, about ten minutes later. _Al_ is in her car; the engine is running. She sticks her head out of the window and addresses _Death.)

**Al**: You're _sure _this will work, right? I haven't got much time before class.

**Death**: THIS WILL WORK.

(Al _grumbles and pulls out into the street. She starts driving normally. _Death _mounts _Binky_ again and follows _Al_. The car starts to pick up speed. _Al _looks confused. She takes her foot off the gas, but the car continues to accelerate._)

**Al**: What the...this can't be good. (_She tries the brake and gets no result_.) Oh crap.

(_As the car continues to speed up, the air in front of it starts to stir. Suddenly, there is a sound like heavy cloth ripping, and a multi-colored, swirly vortex pops out of nowhere, directly in front of _Al_'s car._)

**Al** (_stares at the vortex for a moment_): Oh _crap_.

(_She tries the brake again, but the car is drawn inexorably towards the swirling colors. With a pop, _Al_'s car disappears into the center of the vortex. _Death _is soon to follow, with _Binky _going full tilt._

**Cut to**: Death_'s domain. The vortex appears somewhere on the outskirts of the orchard, and _Al_'s car comes speeding out of it. _Al _is clearly visible through the windshield, looking both angry and completely freaked out. She slams on the brake again, and this time it works. The car screeches to a halt about two inches from an apple tree. _Binky _emerges a moment later at a somewhat more graceful pace_.)

**Death**: AH. IT DID WORK.

**Al **(_pushing the car door open and staggering out_): You call that working? That vortex thing just about killed me!

**Death** (_shakes his head_): IT IS A MERE PASSAGE BETWEEN DIMENSIONS. IT CANNOT HARM YOU.

**Al**: Still...

**Death**: I'LL ADMIT IT ISN'T THE SMOOTHEST ROUTE HOME, BUT IT WAS THE ONLY ONE AVAILABLE.

**Al**: All right, it got you home. For you, this is good. But...what exactly am _I _supposed to do?

(Death _looks a little uncomfortable, as if he hadn't quite considered this consequence at the outset, and its meaning is only now catching up to him._)

**Death**: I HAVEN'T BEEN THIS EMBARRASSED IN A LONG TIME.

**Al **(_deadpan again_): That means you don't know, doesn't it.

**DoR**: SNH, SNH, SNH.

**Death**: OH, SHUT UP. (_sighs and turns to _Al) YOU MIGHT AS WELL COME IN.

(Al _is curious despite her annoyance, and she follows _Death _inside._

**Cut to**: _Interior of _Death_'s house. _Death _is stalking through the front hall, lost in thought. _Al _trails along behind him, stopping occasionally to inspect things. Eventually, they come to the kitchen. _Albert _is at the stove, frying his customary breakfast._)

**Death**: ALBERT, I HAVE SOME WORK TO DO. THERE'S BEEN A BIT OF A MISHAP.

**Albert**: All right, Master. Can I bring you some tea?

**Death**: NO, THANK YOU. NOT NOW. (_turns to _Al) I WILL HAVE TO CONSULT MY BOOKS ABOUT THIS. IT'S A DIMENSIONAL ANOMALY THAT I AM NOT FAMILIAR WITH.

**Al**: As long as I can get home before class. I swear, if I miss one more lab, my professor's gonna kill me.

**Death**: YOU'LL BE FINE. BELIEVE ME; I KNOW.

**Al**: Oh, very funny. Ha ha. Very macabre.

(Death _fails to see the sarcasm in this and heads out of the kitchen. _Albert _continues frying his breakfast without paying _Al _the least bit of attention. However, _Al _is still mildly curious and goes to look over _Albert_'s shoulder_.)

**Al** (_surprised_): What _are_ you frying?

**Albert**: Porridge. Got a problem with it?

**Al**: You don't fry porridge –

**Albert** (_cuts her off_): Maybe _you _don't.

**Al**: No, I mean you don't fry it like that. You're messing it up!

(Albert _looks up in surprise._)

**Albert** (_composing himself_): And I suppose you can do it better, can you?

**Al**: Definitely. (_She takes over the pan and the spoon, all but shoving _Albert _out of the way_.)

(**Cut to**: Death_'s study. _Death _is sitting at the desk, pouring over some books. The _Death of Rats _is helping him._)

**DoR**: SQUEAK! (_motions with a paw_)

**Death**: WHAT? (_reads the indicated passage_) NO, THAT WON'T DO. WE HAVE TO MOVE THE CAR, AS WELL.

(_The _Death of Rats _looks disappointed, and continues browsing the book_.

**Cut to**: _The kitchen. _Al _is finishing up with the porridge. _Albert _is sitting at the table, looking annoyed_.)

**Albert**: My porridge never takes this long.

**Al**: That's because you rush it.

**Albert**: Look, kid, porridge is porridge. You can't _rush _porridge.

**Al**: Yes, you can, and you do. (_takes the pan off the stove_) Here, try this.

(_She slops some into a bowl and shoves it in front of _Albert. _It does, indeed, look fried and is a slightly different color from _Albert_'s usual concoction. _Albert _stares at it warily_.)

**Al**: Go on, try it. (_Sits down across the table with her own bowl and watches _Albert _expectantly_.)

(**Cut to**: _The library. _Death _is sitting between two rows of shelves, balancing a book on his knees. He lifts it up to inspect something and we see that the spine has _Al_'s name on it. _Death _is apparently investigating what exactly happened when the dimensional anomaly took place_.)

**Death**: STRANGE...IT SEEMS THAT THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH THIS CAR THAT CAUSES REALITY TO RIP EVERY TIME THE ENGINE SPUTTERS. (_he lowers the book_) THIS MAY BE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT. (_he gets up and heads out the door with the book under his arm_)

(**Cut to**: _Kitchen, a few minutes later. _Albert _has finished his bowl of fried porridge and, oddly enough, is talking and laughing with _Al. _The topic of conversation isn't discernable, but obviously both _Al _and _Albert _find it very funny. _Albert _is just about in hysterics when _Death _enters._)

**Death**: I'VE MANAGED TO LOCATE THE PROB – WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

**Al**: Nothing. (_dissolves into a fit of giggles_)

(Death _walks over to the stove and peers into the empty porridge pan_.)

**Death**: DID YOU COOK THIS, ALBERT?

**Albert** (_barely understandable through his laughter_): No, Master. The girl did.

(Death _looks at _Al _quizzically for a moment, then enlightenment seems to dawn_.)

**Death**: DO YOU PUT CAFFEINE IN EVERYTHING?

(_His guess only causes _Al _to laugh harder. _Death _shakes his head and looks extremely confused_.)

**Death** (_sighs_): I'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND HUMANS.


	3. Finding Al

**Al & Death III:**

**Finding Al (The Rescue)**

**Setting**: _The bedroom of _Al_'s best friend, _Sam. Sam _is sitting at a corner desk, fooling around on her computer. She has long brown hair that hangs down her back and is wearing dark blue jeans, a sleeveless black shirt, and no shoes. She suddenly looks very thoughtful._

**Sam**: Hmm. (_she types a bit_) That's weird; Al's usually online every day. (_She gets up and goes over to the phone, which is hanging on the opposite wall; she dials _Al_'s number_.) Hi, is Al there? No? Where is she, work? No, I haven't seen her. Okay, well, would you tell her Sam called? Thanks. (_She hangs up, looking puzzled_.) All right, Al, where _are_ you?

(_She returns to the desk, sits down, and starts typing furiously_.

**Cut to**: Death_'s domain. _Al _and _Death _are sitting at the kitchen table, a pot of tea between them, and discussing the reality problems that _Al_'s car has been causing._)

**Al**: So my car's been ripping reality this whole time and I just never noticed?

**Death**: IT APPEARS SO. APPARENTLY THE SEVERITY OF THE RIP DEPENDS ON HOW BADLY THE ENGINE SPUTTERS.

**Al** (_snaps her fingers_): I knew I should've gotten that looked at.

**Death**: THE GOOD NEWS IS, IT SEEMS TO BE FIXABLE.

**Al**: And the bad news is that you don't know how, right?

**Death** (_sighs_): CORRECT.

(Al _glares at him and sips her tea irritably_.)

**Death**: I AM NOT OF YOUR WORLD; I DO NOT KNOW HOW "MECHANICS" WORK. AND NEITHER, I THINK, DO YOU.

**Al**: All right, you've got me there. So, what do we do?

**Death**: WELL, WE COULD TRY THE SAME METHOD YOU USED TO GET HERE. OR WE COULD LOOK AT A FEW MORE BOOKS AND SEE IF THERE IS SOMETHING I HAVE MISSED –

(_Suddenly, _Sam _appears, sitting in the chair next to _Al.)

**Sam**: Or you could come home with me! (_she reaches for the teapot and a teacup_) Honestly, Al, you were a pain in the ass to find; how did you end up here?

(_Both _Al _and _Death _are staring at _Sam _with similar degrees of shock, although _Death _also looks a bit annoyed at having yet another strange person show up in his house_.)

**Al**: Better question: how did _you _get here?

**Sam** (_shrugs_): _looks confused, but _Al _nods knowingly_.)

**Al**: I should have figured. You didn't happen to bring a computer with you, did you?

**Sam**: Nope. Anyway, where would I plug it in?

**Al**: Good point. (_pauses_) Wait a sec, how'd you know I'd be here?

**Sam**: Well, you haven't been online in two days, and when I called your house to find out where you were, your dad said something about a trans-dimensional horse. That was pretty much a dead giveaway. (_glances at _Death) No pun intended.

(_The joke goes over _Death_'s head_.)

**Death**: DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

**Sam**: Of course! I looked it up before I came here. We could just start Al's car up and wait for the engine to burp, but that wouldn't fix the reality rip problem.

**Al**: So you _can_ fix that.

**Sam**: Yup. But it involves finding everything that's been transferred through reality rips since the problem started.

(_Total silence._)

**Al** (_bursts out_): That could take _hours_!

**Death**: NOT TO MENTION CROSS DIMENSIONS.

**Sam** (_shakes her head_): I read that, when this kind of thing happens, there's usually only one dimension connected to the disruption of reality. So basically, your car has been using this place as a dump.

**Al**: Wait, so when I lost my skull and crossbones hat...

**Sam**: It's around here somewhere.

**Al**: And my hairbrush?

**Sam**: That, too.

**Al**: And the book I never returned to the library?

**Sam**: Well, that's probably buried in your room. (_grins_) As for the other stuff, we'll find it.

**Death**: GOOD. PLEASE COMMENCE SEARCHING; I HAVE A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

(_He gets up as if to leave, but_ Sam _catches the back of his robe_.)

**Sam**: No way, Bone Boy! You've got to help us.

**Death** (_taken aback_): ME?

**Sam**: Yes, you. You're the only one who knows the way around this place, plus it's bigger than we can handle by ourselves.

**Death**: BUT I –

**Sam**: Great. We'll take the house; you take the outside.

**Death** (_desperately_): BUT, THE DUTY...

**Sam**: The dead can wait a bit longer, I expect. College, however, waits for no one. Come on, let's go.

(**Cut to**: _Various shots of _Sam, Al_, and _Death _poking around _Death_'s domain. Every once and a while, one of them finds a piece of junk, i.e. a tattered shoe, a used tissue, and a half-eaten box of cookies, none of which actually belongs in _Death_'s world. _Death _seems particularly unhappy about all this and is seen several times holding something at arm's length, presumably in disgust._

**Cut to**: _Kitchen, quite a while later. _Death _and _Al _are sitting at the table, this time with a big pile of _Al_'s junk between them. _Sam _enters, carrying a case of soda. She hefts it onto the table_.)

**Sam**: Al, how in the world did you, of all people, lose a twenty-four pack of Mt. Dew and _not _notice?

**Al** (_raises her eyebrows_): Have you _seen _the interior of my car?

(Sam _looks critically at the pile on the table and shrugs_.)

**Death**: IS THAT EVERYTHING?

**Al**: I think so. (_turns to _Sam) What now?

**Sam**: We put it in the car and head home. Since there will be nothing left linking you to this dimension, the reality rip between here and Earth ought to close up when we leave. I'd suggest getting your engine fixed, though; you don't want to open up any more vortexes with other worlds.

**Death** (_sounding vaguely relieved_): YOU MOST CERTAINLY DO NOT.

**Sam**: Shall we?

**Al**: We shall.

(_They get up and start to gather up the junk that's on the table. _

**Cut to**: _The orchard. It seems that the last of the junk has been loaded back into _Al_'s car, and all systems are go. _Al _gets into the driver's seat_.)

**Sam**: Wait a sec! (_she bends down and picks up a small, round tin_) Almost missed these!

(_She gets in the car and hands the tin to _Al.)

**Al**: So _that's _where my citrus sours went!

**Sam**: Honestly. You don't miss an entire case of Mt. Dew, but you notice when your citrus sours are gone?

**Al** (_vaguely, talking around a citrus sour_): Well, a case of Dew isn't usually in my pocket. These are. (_she leans out the window and calls to _Death) Thanks for putting up with me! Never show up at my house again!

**Death** (_emphatically_): LIKEWISE.

(Al _starts the car. As before, it begins to accelerate at a pretty good pace, and soon the big, swirly vortex appears. The car gets sucked into it with a pop, and it closes up on _Death_'s end._

**Cut to**: _Out front of _Al_'s house. The vortex appears momentarily and dumps _Al_'s car out onto the street. The landing is a bit bumpy, but _Al _manages to park and both she and _Sam _emerge from the car unscathed_.)

**Al**: Whew, am I glad _that's _over.

**Sam**: Let's get this crap out of your car before any more of it ends up elsewhere.

**Al**: Good idea.

(_They begin unloading the car and bringing things into the house. Finally, _Sam _brings in the case of Mt. Dew and sets it on the dining room table. She notices that one can is missing from the corner of the case_.)

**Sam**: Oh, smeg. (_calls_) Hey Al, did you drink a can of this Dew?

**Al** (_from her room_): No, why?

**Sam** (_quietly, as realization sinks in_): Oh, _smeg_.

(**Cut to**: Death_'s study. _Death _enters and goes over to his desk, then stops short. The _Death of Rats _is sitting on the desk, wearing a grin that's more fixed than usual. Next to him is a can of Mt. Dew, which is almost twice as tall as he is. _Death _stares for a moment, then shakes his head_.)

**Death**: SOMETIMES I HONESTLY WONDER WHY I KEEP YOU AROUND.

(_He picks up the _Death of Rats _and carries him out of the room. Faint, ratty sniggering is heard as they go down the hall._)

THE END...?


End file.
